Titbits of Truth

If you want a wife stay clear of investing much in girls who constantly remind you they like to have “fun fun fun” and “get bored easily”

A good relationship is one in which you joke that you are her king, and there is an undercurrent of wishful seriousness in her playful response

Men who aren’t comfortable bantering in a sexual way are often seen as asexual and timid lovers. When you finally do broach a sexual topic way too late in the interaction it will come across as desperately cloying and incongruent

Wake up every morning knowing that women would love to have the boredom of their daily routines smashed by your precious few words of acknowledgement

Use on girls pushing up against 30: “I think younger women are overrated. Sure, they have great figures and are spontaneous and always up for fun, but their lack of… maturity… can get tiresome after a while.”

“I want to be romanced.” Translation: “I want you to state your desire to fuck me with impeccable subtlety.”

Hot girls are some of the most illogical, deluded, and naively optimistic people alive

A woman who is cheating on you will withdraw sexually, stop being considerate, and bitch you out a lot. A woman who is worried and anxious that you have no intention of marrying her will lash out likewise

A woman with inflated self-esteem is a woman who will erroneously believe she is too good to date men normally in her league, unless steps are taken to bring her self-esteem back in line with reality

A man can shoot way out of his league if he acts as if he is the one occupying the higher league

Women respond viscerally in their vagina area to unpredictability, mixed signals, danger, and drama in spite of their best efforts to convince themselves otherwise

Withholding sex is the tactic of a woman who has already lost. It is mutually assured destruction

Sexually attractive people can get away with more. And they will have more willing apologists excusing their actions

Why have kids?

You could be the spitting image of your father, and grandfathers. Similar build, same eyes, same cheekbones. Inheriting several of his hobbies and dispositions could also come with the pass downs.

Your great grandfather and grandfather could also be dead and dead for a long while you could never know them

It is by sheer chance that those genes influenced you more than anyone else in your lineage, but here you are. Here he is. You are him. His conscious mind is dead. He is not.

Be proud of your genetics. They are not perfect, but you have several enviable qualities. It’s because of these qualities that centuries ago, men with your genes fought for resources, status and women and were successful. Today, using their genes, you are becoming successful as well.

See, don’t think having kids is the ultimate measure of a man. It is the consequence of, not the driver of hedonistic desire. Men haven’t evolved baby rabies like women. However, some of us have healthy K-selected instincts to want to have and provide for our own spawn. There is something natural about it. It is due to these instincts that many would surely feel regret if they never became a father.

You see, too often this debate is black and white. There are sworn bachelors claiming anyone who marries and has kids is an idiot, and there are righteous family men claiming anyone who doesn’t pass his genes on isn’t a true man. People make their choice, then to make peace with their choice, they claim that it wasn’t a choice at all and anyone who claims otherwise is stupid.

Truth is, both sides are right and wrong.

I can’t argue with a guy who chooses to run free in an easy-sex society rather than settle down in the burdensome responsibility of providing for a wife and kids with a legal system stacked against him.

I can’t argue with a guy who wants to build a legacy and pass his accumulated knowledge and wealth to a genetic lineage of his own flesh and blood.

The men who crusade against having kids make great points. They are right, it is a huge risk and sacrifice. For many men, it is probably not a good choice. However, to those of us with K-selected instincts, NOT having kids would also be a sacrifice.

Life always contains trade-offs, evaluate your desires accordingly

Living Below One’s Means

I tend to see a trend amongst the social media-addicted crowd these days. The focus on materialism and showing off seems to stem deeply in the crux of their image.

Show off your watch, show off your new car, or the holiday you spend your bonus on. Doing it for the ‘gram has become the holy grail for a generation whereby short-sightedness overtakes the long term build up of wealth. Is it much of a surprise that nearly half of Australians live pay cheque to pay cheque?

So what would you do differently? I understand the current economic environment is a tough with rampant global inflation and a threat of a recession hampering confidence in most.

Here are a few things I’d recommend doing to improve your financial position in the medium term.

  1. Invest in yourself

Most people, especially early on in their careers will complain they don’t earn enough. This is fine, so what I would recommend is think about the career path you’re on and what courses, skills, and attributes that you need to grow and develop to be in a role you want. If you’re in a graduate scheme or progression track weather its CA, CFA, Law or Medicine, then put in all your effort to passing those exams.

I know its hard especially with the long hours of work but delaying the gratification and giving yourself small rewards is the best way to get through the tough times. Having a set goal and lure of a better role, and salary is often the light at the tunnel that keeps most people motivated.

  • Build up a budget

Nothing standard, but it’s the best way to understand your status quo. There’s dozens of apps, spreadsheets, and sites that can help you devise a budget. Be sure to divide up your expenses as essentials and disposable income so you can figure out where you’re able to make cuts.

  • Cut down on expenses

Once you’ve made a budget, go through your list and shop around on making sure you get the best deal. Whether its your phone, broadband, insurance, there’s dozens of price comparative websites that can help you ensure you get the best deal.

  • Always save

A portion of your income, put it away to build up an emergency buffer, my recommendation is 3-6 months of living expenses. Get into the habit of always saving a % of your salary, many banking apps these days can help you do this in an automated manner.

  • Invest

Then once you have built up your rainy-day fund, think about investments, I’d probably start off with Index Funds initially. Have a flick through videos on YouTube or even Reddit. But basically start investing early on in your life to maximising the impact of compounding later on

Investment Banking – Questions and Answers

I get questions from readers about Investment Banking based on earlier posts where I mentioned work related matters.

So I thought I would provide some answers to the FAQs:

What is Investment Banking?

The definition is something along the lines of helping companies raise funds through debt or equity and broadly advising clients on investment opportunities.

Most of the time in Junior ranks you’ll be editing slide decks and helping with the materials for client meetings and communications. Once you’re a bit more senior you’ll be building out and reviewing models and managing teams

Does it pay well?

In short, yes.

These days I’d say $150k base is fairly normal starting out (Again this varies widely between front and back office, team and bank) bonuses can be as big as your base depending on performance

What are the hours like?

I’d say 12-hour days are the norm for most Analysts, however if you’re working through a complex M&A and the project is at a critical stage you could do more than 16 hours. Think worst for me was an 18-hour day. Also, on average I’d say one weekend a month would be expected.

What are the exit opportunities?

There are heaps of options. Many people try to continue the long hours but trade up for more pay by going into Private Equity. Some go work at clients and do in-house Corporate Development / M&A work. Others move into Technology companies and work in areas like Strategy. It’s a fairly broad spectrum of opportunities with the skillset you acquire.

If you have a good reputation with colleagues and clients there will regularly be opportunities coming up in conversations, but as you understand yourself more and realise what you like and don’t like – you’ll end up being far pickier with roles you’ll consider.

Do you need to go to a Top University?

It won’t hurt if you do. If you’re in Australia, given how small the intakes are, it would be a lot harder to get into an Investment Bank as a graduate from a lower tier University. Overseas in places like the UK or US, it’s a bit more open given there’s a much larger in-take. You can also move into banking as a lateral hire given the right employment background.

What are the different ranks?

Analyst -> Associate -> Vice President -> Director -> Managing Director

Is it for me?

if you’re a driven person whose interested in markets and corporate life you could enjoy it, however, there comes a sacrifice with the hours you’ll do in the job as well as the stress that can have harmful impacts on your health.

5 Things to do ahead of the expected recession

  • Build up an Emergency Fund
    With unemployment expected to rise, and massive layoffs in many major companies recently. It makes it obvious to have money stashed away for emergencies (e.g., Losing your job, medical emergencies and so on). This is not money tied up in the stock market or in property, it is purely cash, the most liquid asset! This could be something along the lines of 3-6 months of living expenses for people currently employed full time and if you’re self-employed, 6 months for living expenses and 6 months of business expenses. This will give you that piece of mind during the period where cost of living is increasing.
  • Avoid high interest borrowing
    Interest rates are rising, and the cost of borrowing continues to increase. So, it’s important now to be paying down on your existing debt. Weather its car loans or credit cards, now is the time to be paying down these outstanding loans. You’ll be getting a guaranteed return on your investment; you’ll be saving on the interest that you no longer need to pay!
  • Don’t realise them losses
    The stock market is quite unstable and has dropped considerably since 2021 in numerous sectors. It hurts waking up and noticing the investments going from Green to Red and it’s tempting to wanting to end it all and cash out before it gets even lower.
    But do not panic sell! I’ve seen smart, talented people in Finance succumb to this, when the times are tough – all logic goes out the window.
    If you’re investing money that you don’t need and have a good emergency fund, it makes sense to have those diamond hands. Look at March 2020, those who sold when we had the first lockdown dip are regretting their choices. Markets came roaring back and history has shown us time and time again that after a dip and stagnant period, the market corrects itself and improves over the long run. Look at the 1979 crash, the dot com bubble, the GFC and so on, they were all overcome. It’s all about time in the market, not timing the market.
  • Buy now
    In conjunction with the last point, when quality stocks are discounted, you should go in and buy up. See it as a sale. I look back at some of my recent gains, and the biggest capital gains I achieved were from stocks I bought during 2020 when the world was in panic mode.
  • Diversify income streams
    It’s always handy to have a few side hustles that you can attain some income from. Weather its selling digital content or monetising a hobby – having fall back options and diversity in income helps when times are uncertain and can help provide you some piece of mind in the event you lose your day job.

Have you made these mistakes before? Don’t sweat it. Don’t dwell on the negative. Don’t spend too much time thinking about past mistakes, you learnt from them. He who clings to the past has no present, and compromises his future.

The one tactic that always helped me study.

These days students are often distracted continually. Whether it be social media, Netflix or Gaming, the ability to keep attention on one topic for prolonged periods of time is rather hard. The dopamine frenzy young people are often exposed to these days are at levels that people of yesteryear would be astounded by.

I often wondered whenever I had a big exam to study for, what was it that drove me to study? Was it the comfort of knowing I had understood the content and would be ready? In my case no, it was Fear of failure. I would always think about how horrible it would be if I failed. The hours of energy put into re-doing something and making sure everyone knew I had failed would be enough of a deterrent that the thought of it would often make me feel guilty that I wasn’t studying hard enough.

Couple the above with very clear boundaries for things I would hope to achieve, and I had a recipe that generally worked rather well. I also made found ways to reward myself as I got closer to achieving the goal and of course after meeting it too.

However, this worked for me and everyone is different, so I’m sure there’s variants of this people adopt that gets them through.

Destiny is real

Sometimes I wonder how people end up where they do. What things had to fall in place for them to get there. What ideas they needed to conceive. What environment they needed to grow up in.

I often introspectively wonder the same for myself. So many things needed to work out, and through sheer chance or luck, ideas came to me that happened to shape the direction of my life. Weather it’s a big choice I made, a person I met or a goal that I set out to achieve, often there are numerous influences around me that got me there.

You could sit there analysing all these in extensive detail and writing them down, but a part of me stays fatalistic and feels rather glad that some things “just happen”. I often feel that maybe I’m a passenger in a greater universe and that my destination is often out of my control, I’m a vessel working hard, but ultimately there’s a pre-defined set of trajectories that are meant for me.

There are often many limiting factors for outcomes in one’s life, weather its genetics, wealth, environment, or ambition, these are often hard to break free from, and I’ve seen numerous individuals go above and beyond what those around them were able to achieve. That’s something special and worth savouring for sure.

Whatever faith you come from I’m sure there’s an element of fate and destiny in most peoples’ beliefs and I feel incredibly comfortable and grateful at where I’ve ended up so far.

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The BS of Closure

A classic post that every man should read.

Closure Is BS

As a man, you don’t need closure.

A girl either wants to bang you or she doesn’t. A long, emotional conversation will not change this fact.

Girls, however, need to put a man they are dumping into a desexualized box and wrap a pretty bow of closure around it. By participating in the closure process, you are helping her tie the bow around your desexualized fate.

If a girl breaks up with you:
Do not talk about your feelings
Do not talk about her feelings
Do not argue with her reasons
Just accept it and grieve on your own time.

This is hard.

Why?

Because a woman will never give her ACTUAL reasons for breaking up with you. She will only give you society-approved bullshit that makes her look innocent.

She will never say “you didn’t screw me good enough” or “you’re too nice and not exciting” or “no other girl I know wants to fuck you so something must be wrong with you”.

She will say “I’m really busy with school and work and don’t have time for a relationship now” or “you’re great but I’m not ready for anything serious” or “I care about you as a friend”.

Sometimes the reasons she gives will be SO false, such obvious flowery bullshit, that you will feel a deep burning need to set her straight, to correct her misunderstanding.

Don’t.

You can’t logic a woman.

You can say “Ok”, walk away with a smirk and never contact her again.
Being robbed of emotionally dripping closure, she’ll always feel a little incomplete.

Why didn’t he fight harder for me?
Did I really not get to his emotions?
Am I not as desirable to him as I thought?
Is he more desirable than I thought?

Girls have egos. They WANT to know you’re emotional about her breaking up with you. It validates her. So don’t do it.
You want a girl dumping you to question her reasons, not verify them.

When a girl dumps you, you want to be able to look back on how your handled it with pride.
When you give a girl closure, you give her your pride.

Hypergamy for Men

There’s often talk of hypergamy for women, marrying a higher status male to elevate herself in the sexual marketplace, but what about for men?

I recently was thinking about this. There’s the common saying of a man “Batting above his average” when he is with a girl that is often more beautiful than he is handsome, but everyone whose reading this would know that a man’s sexual market value (SMV) is generally derived more from factors besides looks. His social status, wealth, demeanour and confidence all play a part, and a man scoring highly on those areas will not have much of a problem nabbing a worthy girl.

However, there’s also another lens which gets overlooked rather often these days. The value of a girl with innocence who hasn’t been cock carouselled like the vast majority. Being chaste isn’t rewarded as a man, but is as a woman. Any player can bang and commit to a carousel rider that’s ridden an array of dudes after hitting puberty but girls who actually value their hymen are few and far between and less likely to spread for a guy with a massive notch count.

It would be rare seeing a guy with a solid triple digit notch count with a virgin, or a low notch girl, but if that is a metric which means something to the player and that goal is achieved a part of me sees that as almost hypergamous for the male. As documented, there are numerous benefits of having a low or no notch partner, and in a world where everyone fucks everyone, a hint of innocence is refreshing.

The references to past experiences, the emotional damage from exes, the uncontrollable comparisons to guys from the past – these are all things that women often do without realising and make it harder for them to bond to a man after they’ve had their fill of “fun” so to speak. So it makes total sense for a guy to want someone whose not going to have a large spectrum of experiences. “My ex” this and “My ex” that conversations should come up briefly in the beginning once you get to know one another but having those as a constant feature throughout a relationship is simply toxic and avoiding the risk of that is always going to be more desirable.

I’ve always held firm that “Men lie, women lie, notches don’t” when it comes to desirability in the sexual marketplace and I truly can’t believe if a girl is perpetually used by dozens of guys that she’ll have a personality, warmth or femininity left in her to be as desirable as she once was. Setting that hard boundary on what you can accept as a man is a trait most guys these days don’t have anymore, either through constant societal pressures or thirst.

Damaged Goods

As a man, you’re expected to protect, love and care of a woman, at times resulting in your own suffering.

But what happens when the woman you’re putting all this energy into, is the one causing you indefinite amounts of pain? What do you do? Do you turn on her and call her out on the pain she’s giving you?

Or maybe you persevere in the hope that things will improve and will be back to where it was previously.

Or perhaps, you realised that she’s Damaged Goods that simply isn’t worth loving anymore.

When a man leaves a damaged woman, he’s shamed for it, called selfish.
“You left her when she needed you, you selfish bastard!”

Yet when a woman leaves a damaged man (Which most women are attracted to), she’s praised
“You go girl, you deserve better!”

They say, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time around”, now if your partner is one and suffers from episodes of manic depression and emotional instability, think about how quickly that average will be brought down. Yet people persevere for years upon years, hoping and wishing for things to return to where they were, and in the process, becoming lesser versions of themselves. The bitterness of being a shadow of your former self is one that’s hard to swallow and resentment towards the partner only grows, until you become so damaged that eventually it makes sense to split.

COVID was an interesting period. I came across numerous individuals that went through nasty divorces and splits during the lockdowns. So many issues that were often brushed under the rug or drowned out by the noise of day-to-day life were now under the spotlight. Sharing space with someone you were resenting became so much harder without an escape route every day.

A friend of mine recently caught up with talking about how his ex-wife is now going through the same issues that he faced during his marriage with her new partner. A part of me wondered if “Damaged” individuals can ever recover to a state in which they are able to sustain healthy relationships. Or just require someone who is willing to put up the problems until they cannot anymore. Being a cynic, I realise people don’t often fully change, and it’s generally just incremental changes at most and even that becomes more difficult with age.

So, if you’re in a difficult phase with someone Damaged, consider the usual routes like Couples counselling, or a well-calculated break as means to try to address the issues at hand but don’t feel bad about calling it quits when nothing works. Often, it’s women that do the leaving, but Men shouldn’t feel too guilty in doing the same. Just think, would you want to put up with this for another 10, 20, 30 years?