Petition Losers

Sorry for the delay between posts, but being on a work trip to the other side of the world really has hindered my ability to think about the things from back at UoM. Along with that I’ve been doing some pretty insane hours which has also been a pain.

If there’s one thing I learnt during my time at UoM, it’s how to deal with those annoying people asking for your signature on their petition for some cause which I have zero interest in.

These petition seekers generally target built up areas such as Union House, Monash Road, Wilson Hall as well as outside Bailleau Library.

Back in first year, I used to be a bit shy so I just got my phone out when I saw them from a distance  and either pretended to text or take a phone call, which worked usually, or i just politely said “No thanks”. But that’s how everyone deals with them and that’s no fun.

Then in second and third year, as my confidence grew, I begun trolling them with the most retarded things I could think of.

For example:

Petition Loser: “Would you like to sign this petition for gay marriage”

Me: “I haven’t signed”

Petition Loser: “Yes, you can sign here”

Me: “No, I have not physically signed”

Petition Loser: “You can sign here then!”


Petition loser will have a super baffled look by then.

There’s also a few others that I also use, such as using a FOB accent and purposely making no sense at all to test their patience. I’m amazed at how much tolerance most of these poor souls have. All that for a useless signature.

Sometimes, there’s some petition seekers that get fairly aggressive, these warrant a more direct troll. Generally attacking their cause then throwing in some personal insults get the job done quite well.


6 thoughts on “Petition Losers

  1. jake says:

    Oh god, I hate those student union elections where they just annoy the hell out of you.

  2. You are a f-wit. says:

    Not funny as much as conceited and petty. You might not like them, or agree, but they are putting themselves out there and don’t deserve your ignorant, self-satisfied condescension.

    • You do realise once you choose to put yourself out there, you agree to expose yourself to many types of people, of course not everyone is going to appreciate what you do.

      • You are a f-wit. says:

        Yeah, sure, that might be true, but that doesn’t make ignorance, spite or meanness acceptable responses either. It’s one thing to disagree intelligently with the petition types, or to ignore them, but it’s another to just abuse them. Honestly!

        I mean, I feel the same about the bloody Christians, the big issue guy, or whoever else. I don’t agree with them, I’m not interested, but I’m hardly going to be an asshole just cos they have a message. If that’s the way you make yourself feel good and get laughs, you have problems.

        Also, stop to think what they are petitioning about. You might not care about human rights, but human rights are a fuck-load more important than whether or not you get annoyed. That is just self-centred.

    • andee says:

      Dude, who cares, most of these people are probably de-senstised to all this shit, stop trying to be the white-knight here.

  3. […] losers end up? Well, since most of them do useless degrees and regurgitate garbage essays and protest all day about useless issues which nobody could care less about, they end up with some shitty job and a depressing existence […]

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