The Fake Email


As you all know, I worked in Financial Services sector for a few years. Financial Services can be a pretty cut throat field for the people who aren’t able to build a good perception amongst their peers. The field can lead to extensive work hours and stressful times.

However, if you have a tool kit of strategies to appear to be a dedicated and hard-working employee, things can be a lot easier. I was a master at making my work ethic look substantially better than what it is. Lets be honest, nobody wants to slave in Investment Banking, and therefore I used a few strategies to appear to work hard without actually doing so.

My first strategy was to write fake emails.

I used to regularly write emails to myself or close friends that made absolutely no sense. For example:

Dear sir,

We have discussed all aspects of our enquiry with all parties involved. It appears though final considerations of the species mindset are being made as we speak. The plethora of activity which has occurred in Sector B2 and B3 suggests to me that my initial predictions had some sense of accuracy also. I understand your doubts and concerns over the longevity of this potential deal however, I am assuring you this paradigm shifting transaction will require faith in all parties involved. The leadership and future of this rubric of individuals are heavily dependent on all parties conforming to a strict and well adhered set of guidelines. I am aware of your inability to comply and will take necessary action in order to correct any instances of misalignment to our core values which have stood in unison for the last fifty years.

The confidential nature of this email requires it to be deleted after the information has been read and conveyed to all relevant individuals. I expect full compliance with this request.

All the best,



Now, this email means absolutely nothing, just random sentences stitched together making absolutely no sense to anyone. I would freestyle these emails at rapid pace when people were around me so my laptops keyboard made enough noise to imply I was so heavily focussed on writing an important email that nobody surrounding me would disturb me with any requests. This strategy proved very effective for me as I already had a “hard-working” reputation and this further solidified how into my work I was.

The Fake E-mail is a fantastic strategy to use when you’re in a room with people around you and you’re trying to give the impression you are really busy and deeply focussed on your work.


3 thoughts on “The Fake Email

  1. vmollas says:

    lol you really fucken hated that lifestyle i bet

  2. […] eyebrows I was an Investment Banker when someone asks these days but ultimately there was really no legacy for my hard work left […]

  3. Queenie Li says:

    Finance very good career. Commerce very good degree. Melbourne very good.

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