Inside The University of Melbourne

Drama.

The word likely hits the part of your brain that says “negative” and “bad”.

Most people go through life avoiding drama and conflict.

But some, they love drama.

Modern lexicon has sarcastically termed shallow emotional “why didn’t you answer your phone” girl bullshit as “drama”. That shit should be avoided and is not what I am talking about.

I’m talking about blood rushing, heart racing, palms sweating drama.

I’m talking about moments that make you fear for your life, livelihood, family and property.

Okay, I don’t go searching for it. But it is important.

 

Drama reveals who you are deep inside.

Drama reveals loyalties.

Drama reveals who you can trust.

Drama reveals truth.

 

Let’s talk for a moment about relationships.

Male friendships are built on common interests, respect, and time spent together. But those things

are phoney specialities until you know how a man acts in the time of a crisis. The seemingly closest male

friendship can become the deepest hate-filled rivalry in a single moment of betrayal or weakness. Any guy who has been in a bar fight or intense argument that needed backing up can attest to this.

Male-female relationships are built on attraction, value and good emotions. But the deepest passion and emotional connection cannot be forged until you go through a conflict together, a crisis, a gut check that strips you both down to raw emotionalism and makes you acknowledge that only deep love can make you feel so intensely.

 

In a time of crisis your true colours are shown in blazing glory or dramatic failure. These true colours become attached to your identity and that identity is embedded in any witnesses’ brain. To them, how you act in a crisis is who you truly are. Your actions in times of heart thumping drama can’t be rationalised or explained away later in calmer times. Juries can be fooled, witnesses can’t.

This is one basis for the “shit test”. Girls need to find a man’s true character in order to see if

she’s attracted to him or not. One way to do this is to bring him a little conflict and see how he responds.

But that’s well documented.

 

I’ll let you in on a little secret: guys shit test guys all the time.

You don’t think so?

 

Well one of the basic qualities of male friendships is the ability to take a joke and toss one back.

It is also one of the best friendship-altering mechanisms.

If a guy takes friendly jokes or pranks at his expense too easily and doesn’t toss one back, he

quickly becomes the whipping boy of the group. He is the designated butt of the joke who is not counted on.

If a guy goes off to friendly teasing, overreacts or ups the ante to personal insults and confrontation, nobody wants to be his friend as he is both unpleasant and a liability to go off the handle at future times of crisis.

 

Just like girls shit testing romantic prospects is natural and unconscious, so is guys teasing their friends.

It is a normal and necessary way to determine the value of an ally you may depend on for survival or livelihood one day.

 

As far as girls, anyone who is experienced in relationships knows the importance of the First Big Fight.

Usually within 6 months, there is a make or break fight.

It starts when somebody’s loyalty or commitment is questioned. Somebody disrespects the other in some way.

Until that fight happens you know nothing about your partner.

In the fallout of emotional temper, you begin telling each other what you truly think of each other. It goes beyond the fight’s trigger as you start spilling all the little things you dislike about each other and all the minor gripes that weren’t previously brought up are shown the light of day. The girl starts confessing little things about herself that might meet the man with displeasure. She figures now is the time to get it all out and test his true devotion to her. This big fight will either intensify the flames of passion of the relationship or extinguish them completely.

 

It is only after that fight that the relationship truly begins.