Hey I can only stay for a minute. (He talks to her the rest of the night)
“…that is why things would never work out between us” (Then he takes her phone number)
“We should stop” “Yeah, we should” (he keeps going)
You can come in but only for a minute (She sleeps over)
Hands off, this shit ain’t free (He touches her 30 seconds later)
It is like a hack or a cheat code to seduction: You can physically and logistically escalate as long as you verbally deny it. Its to the point where I’m convinced you really could do one thing whilst saying you’re doing another and both parties are fine with it. Some whatt like discovering a flaw in a video game that lets you beat it every time.
If I could sum up the concept it is this: be the resistor (verbally), be the escalator (physically). Fundamentally speaking, this works because the one who wants the other less is in power. So being the resistor is a power play.
The catch? Girls know this and do it, and they do it better than men.
Do you always talk to girls on the street?
Nothing’s going to happen, I’m a good girl.
We’re not going to have sex tonight.
Most guys don’t get that girls are grabbing the power with these statements so they switch into chase mode like a pussy-begging dullard, leaking more and more control over the interaction until the girl’s legs snap violently shut like a bear trap.
Don’t do that.
Instead, you retake the control. Re-establish yourself as the resistor. When she steps back, you step back a little further. Every time she sets a boundary, you reset one in a different place.
Every time she draws a line in the sand, you redraw one on your terms.
Her: I don’t kiss on the first date
You: Good, I don’t kiss before marriage
Her: We’re not having sex tonight
You: Relax, are you always thinking about sex?
Her: Let’s just be friends.
You: Nah I don’t see you as a friend. We shouldn’t hang out anymore.