Category Archives: Classic

Classic Post: Slut Tells

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This is yet another classic post from the now closed LaidNYC blog.

Sluts make bad wives and mothers, but good short-term sex partners.
For you, noble cocksmith of the internet, I give this list of slut tells to help you screen girls out (for
relationships) or screen them in (for a quick dicking).
(in no particular order):
Celebrity worship
Wears Leopard print
Claims she was “abused” in the past
Has tattoos and piercings other than the ear lobe. Higher slut points the closer it is to an erogenous zone.
Fakeness (Bleached or dyed hair, boob job, fake nails, hair extensions, penciled on eyebrows)
Frequently travels to party destinations
Moves frequently
Fucks the first night you meet her (basically whatever date you fuck her on is what date guys usually fuck
her on)
She doesn’t live near her family
Claims she never wants kids
Has a gay bff/orbits several gay guys and/or loves gay culture in general
Dates younger men (no matter what her age or how small the age gap)
Has nude pictures of herself on her phone or computer
Single mother
She’s attractive, yet goes long lengths of time without a boyfriend
Smoker
Wears hoop earrings
In pictures she tries to look sexy or sultry with closed lips instead of giving a warm, geniune smile
Has a messy bedroom
Wears bright red lipstick
Loves clubbing
Is really into the concert or electronic dance scene
Sorority girl
Early virginity loss (once girls start having sex, they don’t stop)
Can’t get along with girls
Has lots of “guy friends”
Child of divorce or unmarried parents
Posts “selfies” on social media
Has male hobbies (sports, gambling, etc.)
Drinks beer
Shows little concern for condom use
Drinks to excess often
Constantly has her iPhone glued to her hands
Is on multiple social media accounts that she updates
Is passionately liberal and feminist
Gives an especially skilled blowjob (as Andrew Dice Clay says…where do you think she learned that?)
Comes from a poor or lower class family
Has an unhealthy diet
Claims bisexuality
Hates to cook. Most of her meals come from eating out or ordering in.
Her friends are sluts
Uses drugs (the words “coke” and “whore” go together like peanut butter and jelly)
She did pageants
Is a bartender or (to a lesser extent) a waitress
This list is by no means comprehensive but it will serve you well on your path to avoid infidelity and
heartbreak, but also indulge in cost-free pussy without guilt.

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Classic Post: The Parable of Mark and Lauren

This is a classic post from the now closed LaidNYC blog.

I constantly hear the nonsense in the West of how men are now expected to accept and cherish carousel ridden sluts as fresh virgins. Let’s be honest you simply can’t treat a car with 200,000 km on the odometer as new, or pay a new car price for it, so why treat a heavily worn slut like she’s a perfect girl? Sadly the feminist programming is making men in the west falsely believe that this nonsense is actually acceptable. It isn’t

This following post from LaidNYC’s old blog demonstrates why on a visceral level why men are and always will be turned off by skanks who give out their pussy like tap water. Enjoy!

Lauren is happy. Last night, her boyfriend Mark finally told her he loved her. She had been wanting that ever since they started seeing each other four months ago. She had been having sex with him, and it had been pleasurable for sure, but she was doing so hoping it would turn into something more: love. Mark had been aloof and slow to give away his emotions. Lauren didn’t mind this, she even preferred it. It meant that she had to work for his love, and by the time he said it, she felt she had earned it and that it really meant something to him.

Lauren set up an excited brunch with her friends Stina, Terri and Lisa. They hadn’t seen each other in four months, in fact none of them knew she was dating Mark. Right away, she starts telling them the good news.

“Wow” said Stina, “I didn’t even know you were dating a new guy! That’s great.”
“Yeah”, said Terri, “what is the guy’s name?”
“Mark Smith”, said Lauren. A hush immediately fell over her support group as they began to give
each other awkward looks.
“Uhhhh, Lauren”, said Lisa, “Mark Smith has loved a lot of girls.”
“Yeah”, said Stina, “He told Jackie Valenti he loved her.”
“Okay” said Lauren, “But she probably fucked his brains out, right? Like, he was denitely getting sex from her?”
Stina cringes. “No” she says, “They never even kissed. He went over to her place drunk one night and professed his love for her. She never even let him in her bedroom.”
“Alright but that’s only one girl. That’s okay.” Said Lauren, getting nervous.
“Well there’s also Andrea Tedesco. He told her he loved her after two casual dates.” said Terri, “She was bragging that she kept him around for a while, getting ‘good morning beautiful’ texts from him and other indications of love whenever she needed it, and she only stopped accepting his love when he started to
want sex. He still writes on her facebook wall.”

Lauren felt a deep pit in her stomach.

Lisa continues: “Mark told Angelica Messina he loved her the first night he met her. She said he was REALLY into it, looking her right in the eyes when he said it, getting down on his knees in front of her just to kiss her hand, and he even recited poetry for her. She gave him one of those awkward one arm hugs and that was it.”

He never did that freaky stuff with me, thought Lauren. If he does that stuff, then why did I just get a plain old “I love you”? Plus Angelica is the biggest cocktease in the city, thought Lauren. How could Mark fall for her bullshit? What an idiot. Now she thought Mark was stupid as well as loose with his love.

Stina says, apologetically, “I don’t want to tell you this, but I heard Mark met a girl in a club and dragged her into the bathroom to tell her she was beautiful, then he gave her twenty dollars. She never even touched him.”

“Okay, please stop” said Lauren. She was growing sicker by the second, her world crushed.

Later, she confronts Mark with her new knowledge. Did he really love all those girls without getting sex from them? She demands to know.

“Well yeah but I didn’t really WANT sex from them”, Mark lies, possibly even to himself, “I wanted to give them love, that’s all. I wasn’t ready for sex at that point in my life.”
“Uggggghhhhh” says Lauren, “Don’t you know that guys who give girls love and attention without getting sex are LOSERS??? The girls getting the love and attention don’t actually respect them, they are just using them!”
“No way, guys can want love without sex, too”, claims Mark.
“Well I heard you told Shirley Thompson from my building you loved her and I have to look at her every day. Plus she’s really pretty, there’s no way she was going to fuck you! Why did you love her?” says Lauren.
“Is that what this is about”, Mark says, “You are just insecure because I have more experience with love than you. You think you can’t measure up to all the beautiful girls I’ve loved in the past.”
“Just how many girls did you tell you loved?” asks Lauren
“I don’t know, about 30” says Mark
This hits Lauren like a brick in the stomach. “30! That is insane, you are a loser!”
“Can’t you see that my past doesn’t matter, and you are giving me sex now and that’s all that matters?” says Mark, “I love the sex we have and that’s something I didn’t get from the other girls.”
Mark can’t see why this only makes Lauren madder. Why should she be the one who has to pay by putting her valuable eggs at risk by taking his sperm in order to get the love and attention that the other girls got so easily.
“Well if you give away love so easily, why did you make me wait?” says Lauren, “Was I not as good as the other girls?”
“Well I saw the chance for sex with you and I didn’t want to mess that up by giving away love too soon”, says Mark.

Lauren dumped Mark. She had to.
Someone so loose with their emotions is not a good person to give sex to. What if they have a son who turns out to be easily manipulated by a pretty face, like Mark? What if a pretty girl in need bats her eyelashes at him and he gives her money that their family needs? What if she just wants a man’s love all to herself and that can’t happen with Mark? Even beyond that, on a very visceral, base level that she couldn’t explain, she found Mark repulsive. It was as if she had been wired biologically to feel disgust and lack of attraction for guys who allow themselves to get friend-zoned. There was no way she could fuck him again.

Yup, it was as clear as day, thought Lauren. Guys who give away love easily are definitely not worthy of sex.

Antique style carved wood nostalgic carousel riding horse with vintage decorations on an old amusement merry go round carnival ride

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