Think about all the things that made you who you are. The years of character building experiences. The way you were raised. The way people treated you. The way you perceive yourself. These all culminate into creating who you are now.
I always wonder if people do change.
Well, I think sometimes you have life altering experiences or trauma that can change you permanently. Weather its a near-death experience, or something like a loss of someone close to you, these can leave you a different person.
But what about character “Flaws”.
Well, these are a bit harder, the deeper you get into your life, the harder it becomes to change. You get more in-tune with yourself and more stubborn. It’s a lot harder to change a 40 year old than a 18 year old.
I was thinking the other day, have I changed much?
Yes, I’ve lived around the globe and experienced so much, but who I am as a person, that’s still fundamentally in-tact. I know of this girl I used to date way back, we always used to fight, always. Ultimately, she was raised in a family where she had absent parents and constantly needed attention. I was early in my Banking career and was fairly focused on work. It was just mayhem, despite her being in University whilst I was working 70-80 hour weeks regularly, the nagging would not stop, literally, never.
Oh, you bought me a gift? But your handwriting on the card looks messy.
You worked 3 80 hour weeks back to back didn’t organise three dates this week? You don’t care!
You didn’t drive 45 kms from the other end of the city in the opposite direction to your house in peak hour traffic to pick me up from my workplace? You selfish prick!
And that for me was a pretty pathetic relationship, besides the constant bangs, there was nothing in it for me. A leftover skank that had ridden the carousel, with a naggy attitude. So I wore that out, dumped a ton of creampies into her, and discarded her like the 20 odd guys before me.
Then a few years later, whilst abroad, another invisible child. Parents are an ATM machine that give no love. And here comes the problems, nag about this and that and so on. I knew this was one of those so I cut my losses and ended it fast.
It got easier and easier to identify the ones that I would have problems with, I just spoke a different love language, wasn’t into neediness and had expectations. They unfortunately never met them, so no hard feelings.
But did I change much? No, I noticed I just struggle with girls that weren’t raised by loving parents who gave them attention. The expectations of their partner seemed excessive, and of course I got heaps of attention when I was younger so it felt unnatural to me to be that missing “father figure” to them. Some people love it (See them creeper old dudes pulling off their ddlg kink for example).
With experience, I got to know myself better.
But did I change, in what works for me? Definitely not.