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The Smooth Operator

I walked up the entrance, not sure if this was the right way into the towering building, signalled by the concierge, I gained some reassurance that it was. I got into the elevator and made sure everything was on point. Given this was an “invite only” event, I wanted to look my best.

After getting off on the top floor, I walked over the get my name card and sign in for the night. A friend of mine invited me to join this industry event which had a lot of unique figures from all around the globe.

I bumped into a few familiar faces, and we talked about the usual: latest vacations, latest slores we slammed, how life was going..

And then..

We just analysed the room, discussing who was really balling and who wasn’t.

You see, many of the heavy hitters in Asia, they have a lot of streams of income, many of these people aren’t flashy, nor are they the type to boast, but with their mannerisms and small details you can get the gist of them being very comfortable.

The ones that are boasting, and showing off, well they still have a huge chip on their shoulder that gives them the insecurity to feel the need to show their cards.

It’s almost like a beta herb trying to impress a girl, it just becomes a major turn off.

Anyhow, the clarity that comes with experience is something that just can’t be told and learnt, the act of living through it seems to be the best means to learn.

With some of the experiences that I’ve had over the past few years, I honestly feel like that they have opened my eyes up to certain things that I would never had ever through about 5 or so years ago.

Did they come at a price? You could say so, I had to make sacrifices in some areas to get ahead in others. But at the end of the day, I felt as if that at that point in time, that was the best most well thought out path to take.

I’ll be hitting the road soon, and I can’t wait to see what other ideas and experiences cross my path that could maybe even shape my path going forward.

 

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Discussing Old Flames

How do you discuss old flames and exes with your current girl?

I was in London to bring in the new year and a friend brought it up to me..

Imagine you are on a second or third date with a girl. The topic of exes is finally raised. You
start talking about your relationship history briefly, not too in-depth, obviously. I’ll mention Lisa,
say I screwed up and she pushed me away, and that it took me a while to get over it, but when I
did, I reached out to be friends and she shunned me. I won’t be bitter when I say this. Do I not
look like a perfect gentleman and the type of person she wouldn’t mind having for an ex someday?
Studies show that girls judge you based on how you speak about your ex. If I can show that I
think generally neutral things about Lisa, and that I behaved like a good person during it all,
it makes me look innitely better than someone who is bitter, jealous, or worse yet, a complete
ass hole. “We broke up and I was like fuck that bitch I’m never talking to her again” doesn’t make
you look good in a new girl’s eyes.

Your general premise, that you should come on looking like a good guy, requires special tact. You can
demonstrate your gentlemanly demeanour in many other ways, but priority in speaking of exes should be to affirm that you have had good relationships in the past, but carry no drama or baggage. Regardless of the reality, when you mention that a past girlfriend shunned you as both a lover and a friend, girls will interpret this as you being a loser who is probably not over his ex, NOT as a nice gentleman. We both know this is unfair and not true, but that is the reality of how girls think. Of course I completely agree that if any type of bitterness seeps out towards an ex, that also gives off a “baggage” and “spiteful asshole” vibe. So my standard strategy is, if she brings up exes too soon I’ll just crack a joke like “I had to break up with my last girlfriend because she wasn’t rich enough.” One joke is enough because after a few dates it will seem like you are hiding something. When you have to seriously broach the subject, its best to remain vague about details, and you absolutely do not have to lie. For example, Sara dumped me. I do not explicitly say this. I say “I had a serious girlfriend in college but we broke up because long-distance relationships don’t work. Its tough to be hours away from someone you care about. Plus I hate talking on the phone”. Girls rarely press further, its almost rude for them to ask “who dumped who?”. Complete full disclosure is not your best move.
Just by not talking shit about exes, you come out looking good. Also note that any admission that a girl flat out rejected you is not likely to be met with open legs or an open heart, doesn’t matter if your goal is a one night stand or a one life stand. You can look like a good guy without looking like you got punked.
You never shit talk an ex to another girl. When people hear a relationship conflict, they instinctively take the side of their sex. Telling a story about how much of a bitch your ex is will make you look bad, not her.
Also: Only show new girls pictures where your ex looks hot. If a girl thinks your ex is hotter than her, it will raise up that anxiety.

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