Tag Archives: Orientation

Tips for returning students!

I decided to continue with the theme of posts revolving around the impending return to university.

This post is perfect for all the students entering another year of UoM, essentially, all the students that are not entering university for the first time.

Now that you’ve been at the university for more than a semester, you must have a sense of entitlement and importance. You know more than the new students, you have an idea of how to approach your studies and you have an idea of what to expect for this upcoming year. Make this be known to every new student. You will become highly respected and valued. Freshers will look up to you as their idols. Your value as a human being will increase exponentially.

Being a later year student, your paramount goal is to look down on every new student. You should whinge and rant about how annoying the freshers are, or how they stole your usual spot on South Lawn, or how their jokes suck. Just try to find any small potential flaw that new students may present and repeatedly exploit it to increase your perceived worth. The more you rant and whinge, the cooler you will appear.

Also, absolutely ignore the fact that not so long ago, you too were a fresher, this never needs to be brought up, because right now, you’re that much better than what they ever will be.

If, for whatever reason, a question arises about your initial days at the university, here is a powerful strategy to combat it.

Always mention how things were better back when you started, as for example:

New Student: “How was Orientation when you were a jaffy?”

2nd Year Student: “Yeah things were awesome back then, so much better than now”

New Student: “Oh, how so?”

2nd Year Student: “You know, stuff was just better, it just was”

You could also throw in something like “You’ll realise what I mean when you’ve been here a while like me”

You never need to really elaborate why things were “better” but just be adamant in the fact that your first days at university were undoubtedly better.
Even though someone has picked up and pointed out that you were once a fresher, you have mitigated the potential hazard by maintaining your superiority, whilst also repeating the fact that you’ve been a student at the university for a while.

For students getting questions relating to specific subjects, you must scare the freshers by mentioning things such as the following:

“University is so much harder than High School”

“[Subject name] is so hard, a lot of kids failed when I did it, but I got H1”

“Most new students find that subject very difficult, but I managed to do well”

Regardless of how difficult the subject really is or what grade you actually got, you must make it seem to the new student that everything is very difficult, but you still creamed it and did very well. You will sound like an absolute genius and further maintain your dominance over them.

 

 

Above is an example of how you should assert dominance over first year students, metaphorically of course!

 

These tips will definitely assist you greatly in becoming the coolest person you can be. Remember though; only tell your close friends where you got these cool ideas from, you don’t want everyone trying to copy your new found style!


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O-Week!

So after getting some awesome feedback from the FOB series of posts and also stirring up a few people (Which was hilarious to say the least), I decided that I’ll mix things up a bit and attempt to be  helpful and assist the new starters at UoM by giving a bit of a break down about O-Week. The FOB series will continue in the future however, so don’t worry too much! The responses were just priceless!

Now, about O-Week!

Orientation week is a big event for all the freshers, it’s the opportunity to get yourself acquainted with the university atmosphere which you’ll be exposed to for the next few years, and a prime opportunity to meet some people that you could form lasting friendships with.

The week starts off with all the new students being placed in groups with other new students in the same course, and a host leading this group. After completing the usual introductions and ice-breakers you’ll be walking around for a university tour with your group. This is when you can get to know everyone your group on a more personal level. One thing I’d say is that, of course, you’ll be aiming to meet as many people then and there, but don’t feel compelled to be friends with everyone in your host group, the first few weeks of tutorials and lectures are a prime opportunity to make friends. In my case, I can’t remember too many people from O-week anyway, I met most of my university friends in classes, but this is obviously different for everyone.

If you’re one of those students that came from a school where a large number of students attend UoM then you’ll be sweet, you can just hang with your high school group initially, if not, then you can try to put yourself out there and try to join clubs and societies and find like-minded people. I joined a ton of random clubs but never ended up being involved with them too regularly aside from randomly rocking up to their Barbeques on South Lawn sometimes.

There’s a day later in the week, where you can attend barbeques and leech a ton of freebies. This is probably the most useful and fun day during O-week, as you get freebies and obviously get the opportunity to meet some interesting people.  There are also pub crawls and a ton of other social activities around, which you can participate in, if it’s something you’re interested in.

Now, if I remember correctly, during one of the days during O-week, there are subject orientation sessions and also course orientation sessions. These were so useless, I honestly can’t see what you could get out of them since everything said during these sessions are readily available from the subject page on LMS or by just Googling the subject code and finding the subject overview page. If you decide not to attend this you won’t be missing anything. The first lecture of the subject will probably repeat what was said in the orientation anyway.

Next Post: Settling in – The first few weeks!

P.S. – I love the one hilarious person/FOB that attacks my FOB posts over and over again in the comments which I disapprove. This person tries using different names and emails, to get his or her point across, but one thing you might not realise is that I can see IPs and I do know it’s just one bored, and obviously offended person. I honestly can’t help but to smile as I’m making such an impact on one’s life. I feel fulfilled.

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