Inside The University of Melbourne

Bachelor of Biomedicine

A course with a clearly-in ATAR of around 99 at The University of Melbourne so you should be proud to be in it right? However, many in the course are probably dissatisfied.
Often, in the first few weeks many of the core Biomedicine subjects lecturers will ask the class to put their hands up if they want/wanted to do Medicine. Usually, almost every hand goes up in response to this. Looks like many didn’t get what they really wanted.

So you’re studying Biomedicine, chances are you didn’t get into Monash MBBS, Didn’t want to/couldn’t afford to go to a joke university interstate and now are left with an undergraduate course which has no guarantees for your future.

The realisation of missing out on undergraduate Medicine probably really kicks in when classes start, when you start doing a few irrelevant subjects and realise that an average UMAT or interview really has cost you a couple of years at least (Assuming you get into a Post-graduate Medicine pathway). In addition to that is the uncertainty, which will often drive you to study a bit harder where as most MBBS kids will be chilling the first couple of years of their course. You’ll always be around nerdy kids constantly talking about studying hard and maintaining huge averages in the early part of your course, then in the latter part, it will be about GAMSAT scores and interviews and offers. A bit similar to entering university for the first time after finishing VCE. The constant pursuit of post-graduate pathways such as Medicine, Dentistry, Physiotherapy etc. will always leave you feeling unsatisfied with your current course, as it is really only a stepping stone to what you really want(ed).

In the meantime, as a bit of a consolation many students doing Biomedicine will often mention that they do Medicine to people who are not affiliated with The University of Melbourne. Often throwing in some random Biology terms in conversations to further validate their claim.

It’s not all bad for Biomed students, on the upside, the cohort is probably more studious than the kids studying Science, since the university pretty much lets anybody into that course, so they have something to look down on.

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So… here we are now, after a long semester of classes, it’s time for SWOTVAC. Technically it’s “Study Without Teaching Vacation”, but for most it’s “WAKE UP FOR EXAMS” vacation.

It’s a quiet period on-campus at The University of Melbourne, with no classes on, most students are flocking to the study areas to either extensively revise or actually look at their subject materials for the first time.

But beware, there are Worrying Whingers…

Nobody likes exams, but with the presence of annoying students who constantly whinge about their “lack” of studying, it doesn’t make things better.

We’ve all come across this type of student before as they are pretty popular at The University of Melbourne.

Worrying Whingers are the type that post a Facebook or Twitter status every hour with something like..

“OMG OMG I’M SO GOING TO FAIL!!!!”

Or
“EXAM TOMORROW – BUT I WATCHED ____ INSTEAD OF STUDYING TODAY! I AM SO SCREWED!!!!!”

Further characteristics of their behaviour include vague responses when asking for assistance regarding university study or just mentioning they have “no idea” regarding a topic, when in all honesty they have probably revised it extensively.

In reality, nobody respects nor likes these students. Nobody really cares about their bothersome whinging either.

However, some of them do actually live up to their word and fail (Yeah, with all that time spent letting everyone know of their misery through every form of social media imaginable, it’s not a big surprise!)

But the majority don’t as they are often studying aggressively and put forward the false pretense to everyone that they are not.
I’m sure some of my readers will also be guilty of this behaviour too, but there’s always at least person who we all know that is a bit excessive in this behaviour.

Also, Many of these worrying whingers will be Career Kids or FOBs.

Here’s some ways to deal with them:

1. Do NOT give them validation or comfort.
Don’t just say they are “going to be ok” when they whinge about how they will fail.
Instead, say something like “Yeah, have fun repeating next semester”.

2. Ignore Facebook and Twitter status updates.
I think once there are little or no responses, their thick brains will finally absorb the fact that nobody cares about how the epicenter of the world isn’t based around their sad life of study, but then again, don’t be surprised if they continue, they seek attention after all.

3. Avoid these students before an exam.
They are the absolute worst people you can surround yourself with before an exam.
They will make you more nervous and insecure about your own performance with their over-anxiety and irritating last-minute self-doubt.

Follow these tips religiously.

In all sincerity, good luck for exams guys!

Today I’ll go over The Private Schooler. Yes, this is another stereotype which most students at the university will bump into.

The Private Schooler, as the name suggests the the breed of student that has attended a top private school, probably in the inner east or inner bayside areas and preferably also reside in these areas too. Common examples of these schools are Scotch College, Melbourne Grammar, Xavier College & Camberwell Grammar. The students will usually get a solid ENTER/ATAR score (Even the retarded ones will get a decent spoon-fed score) and have many friends who will end up at UoM with them, potentially doing the same course as them.

After being nursed through VCE with their hard-working teachers and strong school environment, many of the Private Schoolers come to UoM not really knowing what to expect. Often they herd together with common groupings being students of the same private school, nearby private schools, APS sports opponents, and sister schools.

A vast majority of the male students from this group will excel in sports (AFL, Rowing, Rugby etc.), be fit, and also quite extroverted. Many of which will not really bother studying throughout university too hard as their personality and general likeability will get them more success in life than dweebish nerds and fobs which basically dominate the university population. If not, the connections which they have attained through their social networks or their parents will probably be enough for them to land a decent gig after graduating.There are a few that do study hard and also have great people skills to go with them which generally mean they’ll end up in a true top tier position in no time.This will generally breed much envy from nerdy losers that tried harder academically but didn’t end up obtaining the same level of success.

In terms of Private School girls, they will often have strong self-confidence (Much of this depends on looks of course!) and also display many positive traits which are similar to their male private school counterparts. Again, just an observation, it’s not always the case, since generalising would be a crime now, wouldn’t it ?!

Many Private Schoolers will be spending their summers overseas in exotic locations, relaxing, while most other students will be lightening their future study load by undertaking summer classes or working hard in some role which they believe will enhance their prospects of success in the future. As usual, the Private Schooler will more than likely be more successful in attaining that dream job that these other students have been drooling over all throughout their university life.

In the workforce, Private Schoolers will generally go further up the corporate ladder than their fobby counterparts. By building close rapport with key people and allowing their non-work related conversation to dominate their perception, they will often not be as technically sound in the actual work as a socially-awkard dweeb but their personality will leave a good impression on the people that matter which will result in a greater level of success, in the majority of cases.

As much as people deny it, many senior roles have a strong preference for white people. Don’t start hating me for telling the truth, click the link and read calmly without raging.

Until next time!

Bye!

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