Category Archives: informational

Oct 26 2023
1 Comment
Culture, informational, Straight talk

7 Issues with dating in 2023

So many opportunities, but are we lonelier than ever?

In the fast-paced, technology-driven world of 2023, modern dating has taken on a new and complex dimension. While technology has made it easier to connect with potential partners, it has also introduced a host of perils that can make the dating experience challenging. In this post, we will explore some of the perils of modern dating and offer insights into navigating this ever-evolving landscape.

1. The Illusion of Endless Options:

The illusion of endless options resembles a buffet line of romantic opportunities, each dish more tastier than the last. It’s as if we’ve all become culinary connoisseurs of love, sampling a bit of this and that, hoping to find that rare, perfect dish that will satisfy our every craving. Yet, amid this smorgasbord of choices, we sometimes forget that the true essence of a fulfilling connection transcends the superficial allure of an expansive menu. In our quest for variety, we risk mistaking quantity for quality, forgetting that a single, thoughtfully prepared course can offer a richer, more satisfying experience than an overwhelming array of options.

It’s a cerebral game, this dating buffet, one that challenges our ability to discern between fleeting novelty and the lasting depth of a meaningful connection. In this world of endless options, the true connoisseur knows that, ultimately, it’s the quality of the ingredients and the artistry of the chef that make for a truly exceptional feast.

2. Ghosting and Lack of Communication:

In the grand theatre of dating in 2023, ghosting and the dearth of communication often play the role of enigmatic disappearing acts, leaving us all in suspense about the fate of our romantic narratives. It’s akin to attending a high-brow play, only to find the actors suddenly exiting the stage without explanation, leaving the audience bewildered and craving resolution. In an era of constant connectivity, the art of vanishing without a trace has paradoxically become a trend. It’s as though we’ve all become amateur magicians, capable of making potential partners disappear with the mere wave of an emoji. This silent symphony of disconnect, while perhaps a consequence of our digital age, challenges our capacity for empathy and honest communication. It’s a riddle for the intellectual and emotional connoisseur, reminding us that the ultimate act of maturity is to engage in candid dialogues, not to orchestrate elusive disappearing acts.

Flaking is also common but these days, getting to a stage to even arranging a meet up face to face is often a battle in itself.

3. Superficiality and Image-Centric Dating:

The intricate tapestry of the social media-focused world presents the peril of pervasive superficiality and image-centric spirits which often appear as if we’re living within a grand art exhibition, where profiles are meticulously curated self-portraits. In a world inundated with meticulously chosen filters and flattering angles, the quest for authenticity can seem akin to unearthing a rare gem.

The paradox here lies in the paradoxical: the more we obsess over projecting an ideal image, the more we risk obfuscating the genuine essence beneath. It’s as if we’re all engaged in a cerebral dance of self-presentation, striving to strike the perfect pose within a digital frame. In this high-stakes gallery, the art of discerning between a genuine masterpiece and an artful imitation is a task that demands intellect and intuition. Ultimately, it’s a reminder that while physical attraction and aesthetics are essential, the deeper hues of human connection require a canvas far more expansive and profound.

4. The Pressure to Define the Relationship:

Modern dating can often feel like a balancing act between casual and serious commitment. There’s an increasing pressure to define the relationship early on, which can lead to awkward conversations and rushed decisions. This pressure to label things can be a peril in itself.

One of the primary perils of the DTR conversation is that it can expose differing expectations and assumptions. Each person may have a unique vision of where the relationship is headed, and these differences can lead to disappointment or confusion if not addressed. For example, one person may be seeking a long-term commitment, while the other may only want something casual.

Opening up about one’s feelings and desires in a DTR conversation requires vulnerability. This vulnerability can be challenging for many people, as it involves the risk of rejection or not receiving the response they hoped for. The fear of being vulnerable can prevent individuals from having the conversation altogether.

5. Digital Deception and Catfishing:

Digital deception and catfishing have become pervasive issues that erode trust and authenticity in online connections. Catfishing, a term coined from the documentary and subsequent MTV show, “Catfish,” refers to the act of assuming a false identity or persona to deceive someone in a romantic context.

The ease of creating fake profiles and manipulating digital information has made it relatively simple for individuals to engage in catfishing. Whether it’s using someone else’s photos, lying about one’s personal information, or crafting elaborate tales, the deceptive practice preys on the vulnerability of those seeking genuine connections. As a result, online daters must remain cautious and vigilant, ensuring that the person they are interacting with is who they claim to be, to avoid falling victim to the pitfalls of digital deception.

6. Endless Messaging with Limited Real-World Connections:

The ceaseless exchange of messages without a commensurate number of real-world rendezvous can be likened to indulging in a Michelin-starred menu with an empty stomach. It’s as if we’ve all morphed into digital wordsmiths, crafting elaborate sonnets of witty repartee and emoji poetry while simultaneously ignoring the delightful cacophony of life happening right outside our screens. This eloquent verbosity in the digital realm, much like a Shakespearean tragedy, can take ages to unfold, yet rarely does it reach the climactic denouement of an actual meeting.

In this Shakespearean comedy of errors, we find ourselves crafting eloquent soliloquies on our screens but often failing to take centre stage in the theatrical spectacle of real-world connections.

7. The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO):

The “Fear of Missing Out” (FOMO) is like that elusive perfect dish at a gourmet restaurant – you’re halfway through your meal, and you can’t help but wonder if the table next to you ordered something even more delectable. With an abundance of dating apps and profiles to explore, the FOMO phenomenon in love and relationships has become an intellectual exercise in optimization. It’s as if we’re all conducting a grand scientific experiment, swiping right and left in the quest for the ultimate equation that balances chemistry, compatibility, and impeccable timing. In this labyrinth of choices, the fear of settling for something less than extraordinary can sometimes transform us into cautious scholars, carefully dissecting every potential connection under our intellectual microscopes. But let’s not forget that while IQ is indeed an asset, the wisest among us might just realize that true wisdom lies in embracing the imperfect, relishing the quirky, and recognizing that love doesn’t always conform to a perfectly logical algorithm.

Modern dating in 2023 is not without its perils, but it’s essential to remember that with every challenge comes an opportunity. I suspect the trends of delaying marriage, and kids will continue with the jaded mindsets that come from the dating marathons most people go through making it harder for people to form long lasting bonds.

Jul 23 2023
3 Comments
Culture, Informational

Once Undateable, Forever Undateable.

Everyone wonders what happens to those girls that you dated and didn’t work out with. A guy still in love may think that said girl will move on to a better guy. But perhaps the opposite occurs, they move on to a guy who may seem to be lesser on paper. But often it’s not so clear cut.

Toxic characteristics in girls (or guys for that matter) rarely ever go away. You simply can’t change a person. They need to change themselves. This usually doesn’t happen and is less likely to happen with age as people become more set in their ways and more stubborn.

For example, a girl with a horrible upbringing with poor parenting that instils levels of insecurity that is foreign to a normal person, may require excessive levels of validation that may not come naturally to a man who was raised in a more loving household.

Now, imagine this couple having difficulties in their relationship where the girl can’t see the hard work the guy puts in and the guy feels like he’s done everything and more but always feels like its not enough for the girl.

The clash, they fight, they break up.

Now do you think the girl will suddenly be filled with validation in her next relationship? Sure, she’ll learn bits and pieces from this failed relationship and often be placated by her friends that she deserves more. The guy will probably be more selective with whom he dates going forward, being more mindful of girls and their childhoods / relationships with family members. In the best case scenario, they find people who are more suitable for their needs and if they don’t they just repeat the cycle until someone is willing to put up with them, and this can take time.

The following examples are ones I’ve seen in people I know.

Girl A:
– Wealthy parents who gave zero attention to her whilst growing up.
– Need for validation and liberal upbringing meant she rode a ton of cock in her late teens and early 20s whilst she went on working holidays and through university.
– Girl has zero morals, entered flings with married men, slept with her taken friends.
– Life riddled with poor choices, excessive lying and emotional instability.
– Hit her late 20s and decided to settle with a dude that’s much lower than her in the sexual marketplace.
– Did 6 years with him then called off the engagement since her desire for fun and need to do better was more important.
Now: Single, riding random cocks on the apps in her 30s. Reality being avoided through short term thrills.

You see this girl, she was destined to be a carousel rider from the start. At most a dude can contain her for a while, but ultimately she’s just toxic on many levels. There’s no point investing time into a pit where a person is inherently a bad person like this.

Girl B:
– Upper middle class family, parents were both around and more attentive.
– Dad openly cheated on mum which led to her innate desire to be a “strong, independent woman”. Parents are still together.
– Spent most of her teens and early 20s abroad studying, obviously riding dicks too.
– Made poor choices galore, riding the cocks of random DJs at clubs, and wasting her youth on derogate types.
– Not very smart on an intellectual scale, hence, does not learn from mistakes.
Now: On Podcasts appearing desperate to have kids after single for a long time. Spends her days running a small fast food shop and will most likely date down to settle as her biological clock winds down

Girl C:
– Grew up in a toxic home where parents had 7 children and weren’t able to give them enough attention or love
– Toxic parenting and an upbringing filled with abusive language, threats, and no affection
– Bouts of severe depression throughout her adult life, attempts at self harm, requirement of long term therapy and anti-depressants.
– Constantly insecure and finds the smallest errors in a man to project a large issue creating rifts and a rollercoaster of emotions which would burn any normal person out.
– Siblings are all either divorced or in unhappy marriages
Now: On apps, looking for a guy for something serious. The reality being, said guy is getting a ticking time bomb who will more likely than not suck them into their toxic pit of misery.

Now the above are reasons why people should set standards and avoid the types of individual that don’t meet them. Why? Because there are some people who are simply not worth dating. Their relationships are often destined for disaster and being dragged down with them simply isn’t worth your time, energy, mental health and most importantly happiness.

Act wisely, set boundaries early and weed out the ones that don’t meet your standards.

Jun 27 2023
4 Comments
Classic, Culture, Informational, Straight talk

“I’m too old for casual”

The above is something we hear too often. Weather it’s on dating apps, public transport, or at restaurants. It’s usually used by women, most commonly ones that are above the age of 30.

So what does it really mean?

There’s numerous schools of thought on this. On one hand, die hard feminists, and lefists will push you to believe that the woman is now ready for a long term relationship due to her maturity.

The other angle is.. she’s ridden a ton of bad boys all throughout her prime years and now is settling down since she knows a) Her time is running out and b) The quality of guy she can nab now is far lower than before.

But also, its an admission, an admission that the woman probably casually rode random men throughout when she was younger, tighter and hotter. They got the goods without any commitment, you sir, you get the used goods with full commitment.

Does it really mean that they aren’t going to spread their legs? Look, when you’ve been brought up to normalise casual bangs as part of your existence (e.g. Most Western women) its hard to let old habits die hard. The reality is, if you turn them on enough, you’ll likely to get them to spread their legs. They’ll rationalise it and regret it afterwards but as usual, not matter how old they are it’s a learning experience.

So next time you hear a girl saying she’s “too old for casual” just know you’re talking to a girl whose given up her best years to guys that got between her legs without any commitment, and is now looking for a parachute ahead of the freefall journey that awaits her sexual market value.

Mar 13 2023
1 Comment
Financial Services, Informational

Living Below One’s Means

I tend to see a trend amongst the social media-addicted crowd these days. The focus on materialism and showing off seems to stem deeply in the crux of their image.

Show off your watch, show off your new car, or the holiday you spend your bonus on. Doing it for the ‘gram has become the holy grail for a generation whereby short-sightedness overtakes the long term build up of wealth. Is it much of a surprise that nearly half of Australians live pay cheque to pay cheque?

So what would you do differently? I understand the current economic environment is a tough with rampant global inflation and a threat of a recession hampering confidence in most.

Here are a few things I’d recommend doing to improve your financial position in the medium term.

  1. Invest in yourself

Most people, especially early on in their careers will complain they don’t earn enough. This is fine, so what I would recommend is think about the career path you’re on and what courses, skills, and attributes that you need to grow and develop to be in a role you want. If you’re in a graduate scheme or progression track weather its CA, CFA, Law or Medicine, then put in all your effort to passing those exams.

I know its hard especially with the long hours of work but delaying the gratification and giving yourself small rewards is the best way to get through the tough times. Having a set goal and lure of a better role, and salary is often the light at the tunnel that keeps most people motivated.

  • Build up a budget

Nothing standard, but it’s the best way to understand your status quo. There’s dozens of apps, spreadsheets, and sites that can help you devise a budget. Be sure to divide up your expenses as essentials and disposable income so you can figure out where you’re able to make cuts.

  • Cut down on expenses

Once you’ve made a budget, go through your list and shop around on making sure you get the best deal. Whether its your phone, broadband, insurance, there’s dozens of price comparative websites that can help you ensure you get the best deal.

  • Always save

A portion of your income, put it away to build up an emergency buffer, my recommendation is 3-6 months of living expenses. Get into the habit of always saving a % of your salary, many banking apps these days can help you do this in an automated manner.

  • Invest

Then once you have built up your rainy-day fund, think about investments, I’d probably start off with Index Funds initially. Have a flick through videos on YouTube or even Reddit. But basically start investing early on in your life to maximising the impact of compounding later on

Feb 18 2023
2 Comments
Financial Services, Informational

Investment Banking – Questions and Answers

I get questions from readers about Investment Banking based on earlier posts where I mentioned work related matters.

So I thought I would provide some answers to the FAQs:

What is Investment Banking?

The definition is something along the lines of helping companies raise funds through debt or equity and broadly advising clients on investment opportunities.

Most of the time in Junior ranks you’ll be editing slide decks and helping with the materials for client meetings and communications. Once you’re a bit more senior you’ll be building out and reviewing models and managing teams

Does it pay well?

In short, yes.

These days I’d say $150k base is fairly normal starting out (Again this varies widely between front and back office, team and bank) bonuses can be as big as your base depending on performance

What are the hours like?

I’d say 12-hour days are the norm for most Analysts, however if you’re working through a complex M&A and the project is at a critical stage you could do more than 16 hours. Think worst for me was an 18-hour day. Also, on average I’d say one weekend a month would be expected.

What are the exit opportunities?

There are heaps of options. Many people try to continue the long hours but trade up for more pay by going into Private Equity. Some go work at clients and do in-house Corporate Development / M&A work. Others move into Technology companies and work in areas like Strategy. It’s a fairly broad spectrum of opportunities with the skillset you acquire.

If you have a good reputation with colleagues and clients there will regularly be opportunities coming up in conversations, but as you understand yourself more and realise what you like and don’t like – you’ll end up being far pickier with roles you’ll consider.

Do you need to go to a Top University?

It won’t hurt if you do. If you’re in Australia, given how small the intakes are, it would be a lot harder to get into an Investment Bank as a graduate from a lower tier University. Overseas in places like the UK or US, it’s a bit more open given there’s a much larger in-take. You can also move into banking as a lateral hire given the right employment background.

What are the different ranks?

Analyst -> Associate -> Vice President -> Director -> Managing Director

Is it for me?

if you’re a driven person whose interested in markets and corporate life you could enjoy it, however, there comes a sacrifice with the hours you’ll do in the job as well as the stress that can have harmful impacts on your health.

Feb 01 2023
2 Comments
Financial Services, informational, Straight talk

5 Things to do ahead of the expected recession

  • Build up an Emergency Fund
    With unemployment expected to rise, and massive layoffs in many major companies recently. It makes it obvious to have money stashed away for emergencies (e.g., Losing your job, medical emergencies and so on). This is not money tied up in the stock market or in property, it is purely cash, the most liquid asset! This could be something along the lines of 3-6 months of living expenses for people currently employed full time and if you’re self-employed, 6 months for living expenses and 6 months of business expenses. This will give you that piece of mind during the period where cost of living is increasing.
  • Avoid high interest borrowing
    Interest rates are rising, and the cost of borrowing continues to increase. So, it’s important now to be paying down on your existing debt. Weather its car loans or credit cards, now is the time to be paying down these outstanding loans. You’ll be getting a guaranteed return on your investment; you’ll be saving on the interest that you no longer need to pay!
  • Don’t realise them losses
    The stock market is quite unstable and has dropped considerably since 2021 in numerous sectors. It hurts waking up and noticing the investments going from Green to Red and it’s tempting to wanting to end it all and cash out before it gets even lower.
    But do not panic sell! I’ve seen smart, talented people in Finance succumb to this, when the times are tough – all logic goes out the window.
    If you’re investing money that you don’t need and have a good emergency fund, it makes sense to have those diamond hands. Look at March 2020, those who sold when we had the first lockdown dip are regretting their choices. Markets came roaring back and history has shown us time and time again that after a dip and stagnant period, the market corrects itself and improves over the long run. Look at the 1979 crash, the dot com bubble, the GFC and so on, they were all overcome. It’s all about time in the market, not timing the market.
  • Buy now
    In conjunction with the last point, when quality stocks are discounted, you should go in and buy up. See it as a sale. I look back at some of my recent gains, and the biggest capital gains I achieved were from stocks I bought during 2020 when the world was in panic mode.
  • Diversify income streams
    It’s always handy to have a few side hustles that you can attain some income from. Weather its selling digital content or monetising a hobby – having fall back options and diversity in income helps when times are uncertain and can help provide you some piece of mind in the event you lose your day job.

Have you made these mistakes before? Don’t sweat it. Don’t dwell on the negative. Don’t spend too much time thinking about past mistakes, you learnt from them. He who clings to the past has no present, and compromises his future.

Jan 23 2023
1 Comment
informational

The one tactic that always helped me study.

These days students are often distracted continually. Whether it be social media, Netflix or Gaming, the ability to keep attention on one topic for prolonged periods of time is rather hard. The dopamine frenzy young people are often exposed to these days are at levels that people of yesteryear would be astounded by.

I often wondered whenever I had a big exam to study for, what was it that drove me to study? Was it the comfort of knowing I had understood the content and would be ready? In my case no, it was Fear of failure. I would always think about how horrible it would be if I failed. The hours of energy put into re-doing something and making sure everyone knew I had failed would be enough of a deterrent that the thought of it would often make me feel guilty that I wasn’t studying hard enough.

Couple the above with very clear boundaries for things I would hope to achieve, and I had a recipe that generally worked rather well. I also made found ways to reward myself as I got closer to achieving the goal and of course after meeting it too.

However, this worked for me and everyone is different, so I’m sure there’s variants of this people adopt that gets them through.

Dec 16 2022
2 Comments
informational

Destiny is real

Sometimes I wonder how people end up where they do. What things had to fall in place for them to get there. What ideas they needed to conceive. What environment they needed to grow up in.

I often introspectively wonder the same for myself. So many things needed to work out, and through sheer chance or luck, ideas came to me that happened to shape the direction of my life. Weather it’s a big choice I made, a person I met or a goal that I set out to achieve, often there are numerous influences around me that got me there.

You could sit there analysing all these in extensive detail and writing them down, but a part of me stays fatalistic and feels rather glad that some things “just happen”. I often feel that maybe I’m a passenger in a greater universe and that my destination is often out of my control, I’m a vessel working hard, but ultimately there’s a pre-defined set of trajectories that are meant for me.

There are often many limiting factors for outcomes in one’s life, weather its genetics, wealth, environment, or ambition, these are often hard to break free from, and I’ve seen numerous individuals go above and beyond what those around them were able to achieve. That’s something special and worth savouring for sure.

Whatever faith you come from I’m sure there’s an element of fate and destiny in most peoples’ beliefs and I feel incredibly comfortable and grateful at where I’ve ended up so far.

Also, don’t miss out on any posts by following MUB’s Twitter

Sep 30 2022
6 Comments
informational

Damaged Goods

As a man, you’re expected to protect, love and care of a woman, at times resulting in your own suffering.

But what happens when the woman you’re putting all this energy into, is the one causing you indefinite amounts of pain? What do you do? Do you turn on her and call her out on the pain she’s giving you?

Or maybe you persevere in the hope that things will improve and will be back to where it was previously.

Or perhaps, you realised that she’s Damaged Goods that simply isn’t worth loving anymore.

When a man leaves a damaged woman, he’s shamed for it, called selfish.
“You left her when she needed you, you selfish bastard!”

Yet when a woman leaves a damaged man (Which most women are attracted to), she’s praised
“You go girl, you deserve better!”

They say, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time around”, now if your partner is one and suffers from episodes of manic depression and emotional instability, think about how quickly that average will be brought down. Yet people persevere for years upon years, hoping and wishing for things to return to where they were, and in the process, becoming lesser versions of themselves. The bitterness of being a shadow of your former self is one that’s hard to swallow and resentment towards the partner only grows, until you become so damaged that eventually it makes sense to split.

COVID was an interesting period. I came across numerous individuals that went through nasty divorces and splits during the lockdowns. So many issues that were often brushed under the rug or drowned out by the noise of day-to-day life were now under the spotlight. Sharing space with someone you were resenting became so much harder without an escape route every day.

A friend of mine recently caught up with talking about how his ex-wife is now going through the same issues that he faced during his marriage with a new partner. A part of me wondered if “Damaged” individuals can ever recover to a state in which they are able to sustain healthy relationships. Or just require someone who is willing to put up the problems until they cannot anymore. Being a cynic, I realise people don’t often fully change, and it’s generally just incremental changes at most and even that becomes more difficult with age.

So, if you’re in a difficult phase with someone Damaged, consider the usual routes like Couples counselling, or a well-calculated break as means to try to address the issues at hand but don’t feel bad about calling it quits when nothing works. Often, it’s women that do the leaving, but Men shouldn’t feel too guilty in doing the same.

Just think, would you want to put up with this for another 10, 20, 30 years?


Jul 10 2022
5 Comments
Informational, Straight talk

Do people really change?

Think about all the things that made you who you are. The years of character building experiences. The way you were raised. The way people treated you. The way you perceive yourself. These all culminate into creating who you are now.

I always wonder if people do change.

Do they?

Well, I think sometimes you have life altering experiences or trauma that can change you permanently. Weather its a near-death experience, or something like a loss of someone close to you, these can leave you a different person.

But what about character “Flaws”.

Well, these are a bit harder, the deeper you get into your life, the harder it becomes to change. You get more in-tune with yourself and more stubborn. It’s a lot harder to change a 40 year old than a 18 year old.

I was thinking the other day, have I changed much?

Yes, I’ve lived around the globe and experienced so much, but who I am as a person, that’s still fundamentally in-tact. I know of this girl I used to date way back, we always used to fight, always. Ultimately, she was raised in a family where she had absent parents and constantly needed attention. I was early in my Banking career and was fairly focused on work. It was just mayhem, despite her being in University whilst I was working 70-80 hour weeks regularly, the nagging would not stop, literally, never.

Oh, you bought me a gift? But your handwriting on the card looks messy.
You worked 3 80 hour weeks back to back didn’t organise three dates this week? You don’t care!
You didn’t drive 45 kms from the other end of the city in the opposite direction to your house in peak hour traffic to pick me up from my workplace? You selfish prick!

And that for me was a pretty pathetic relationship, besides the constant bangs, there was nothing in it for me. A leftover skank that had ridden the carousel, with a naggy attitude. So I wore that out, dumped a ton of creampies into her, and discarded her like the 20 odd guys before me.

Then a few years later, whilst abroad, another invisible child. Parents are an ATM machine that give no love. And here comes the problems, nag about this and that and so on. I knew this was one of those so I cut my losses and ended it fast.

It got easier and easier to identify the ones that I would have problems with, I just spoke a different love language, wasn’t into neediness and had expectations. They unfortunately never met them, so no hard feelings.

But did I change much? No, I noticed I just struggle with girls that weren’t raised by loving parents who gave them attention. The expectations of their partner seemed excessive, and of course I got heaps of attention when I was younger so it felt unnatural to me to be that missing “father figure” to them. Some people love it (See them creeper old dudes pulling off their ddlg kink for example).

With experience, I got to know myself better.

But did I change, in what works for me? Definitely not.

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